When your heart and head are in conflict, its hard to know what to do. Your head tells your heart to mend and be rational. Your heart tells your head to have hope and believe in love. The poets have loved deeply and lost even more. They have let us know that love and loss go together. Only sometimes the loss comes sooner than we expect. The torment. The horror. To see a loved one keep hanging on, while never letting bitterness and hatred cloud the love in your heart. Sadness may subside, but the hurt and scars in one’s heart will always persist.
Life
My life has been turned upside down in the past few months. I am sorry to everyone who has looked at the site and is looking for more. More is on the way. As soon as I make it through this part of my life. I have written a few things. One is below. Its not political, but it has conservative ideals that I think everyone should share and think about. Happy reading. More to come…..
Stories of love and loss have been told throughout the ages. Wars have been fought because someone loved another and then lost them. The Trojan War was started because Helen was stolen from her husband, Menelaus of Sparta, by Paris of Troy. Troy was destroyed. Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet. We all know how that ended. The best songs are about guys trying to get the attention of a woman. Men throughout the ages have done almost anything to win the affections of a woman.
In modern days we have love and loss. Unfortunately we have made an art out of loss. It seems to be a game that is played with children, lawyers, and sometimes the public and it all plays out on television. Unfortunately, a lot of people think television is reality. They have forgotten that people are being hurt and others are making money off the misery. The television show condenses everything into a neat package. Only the interesting things get into this package. Like the stories of the past these television programs are popular because a lot of people like to see people’s misery and “dirty laundry”. What is not understood is that people are being scarred for life, especially children.
In marriage children are the sign of your love for one another and God’s love. In these modern times we have forgotten that. Children nowadays seem to be a social badge for certain circles. If you have children you are either heralded or despised. To have children, people forget that your life is not yours anymore it is the children’s. You are to show your children how to live and be good citizens. Children learn most things from their parents. You cannot be selfish.
Selfishness is a human trait. All children are born with this. As parents we have to show that we have learned to become selfless. Being selfless is an on going and difficult battle that we as human beings struggle with our whole lives. To be selfless for our children is the ultimate sign of love and respect to our children, spouses, and God.
When a spouse decides that the love you have is no longer there, it is a blow to your piece of mind and heart. That is if you didn’t know it was coming. Your feelings will be hurt and confusion will set in. Do what you can to try and work things out. Seek counseling together, through your church or private counselors. When you get things out in the open that is when understanding and possible healing can begin. A lot of times people feel like they are not loved. Sometimes it is a simple fix. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of what they share. An impartial mediator that can draw out the real problem is better than hurting your spouse and children more by not communicating the correct feelings and problems.
I know that there are many cases that the break up is unavoidable. When there really isn’t love in the home then it is time to move on. When you love your spouse and your children they need reminding. The physical pain and heartache is much worse when every avenue has not be explored or even discussed to save the marriage. It also helps to not do anything to further the destruction of the marriage until everything has been done to save it.
Remember that love and lust are not the same. Love is something you share. Lust is the selfishness that you have to battle. People need to be reminded of that. Our “modern” society doesn’t give you the distinction. It is shown to be one in the same.
Life is a hard road. Remember your family is traveling it with you. Ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments are apart of life. When you have your spouse and children with you, you still have everything. In life you try to strive for more ups than downs. Downs only make the ups sweeter. When you have your family with you the downs are not so bad and the ups are the sweetest they can be.
Husband’s love your wife. Show her you love her. Remind yourself everyday what it is that makes you love this special woman. Let her know you love her, by your actions and your words. She in turn will love you back.
Wives, let your husband love you. Speak to him. Let him know you love him. Remember what he does for you that no other had done. If he love’s you he will listen and understand. Be patient with him, he loves you.
The children watch every move you make. Not all the time are the right moves made, but at least with the love you have for your family the wrong move can be easily fixed. The love you show for each other is picked up on by your children. It will be engrained in them what love really is. They will see how the two of you interact and will know that is how they should live life. You are the best teachers in the world. Your children are the best pupils.
The horror of your spouse leaving is something that I hope no one has to go through, though it may happen. The thing you can do is let them that you love them. That you are willing to do what it takes to make your marriage work. If you exhaust all avenues to no avail, then really it wasn’t meant to be. Put your heart and soul into it. Don’t do it for this reason or that reason. Do it for the love you have shared and for the love you share for you children. If it doesn’t work out then just remember that you have children that need love and that even apart you need to make sure that they know that you still love them.
Sometimes in our “modern” society love and loss on historic proportions happen. 99.99% of the time no one dies and cities or countries are not destroyed, most of the time it’s just between families, real people with real feelings. This is not usually good story making.
